Series Preview: Phillies At Rockies 4/18 - 4/21

Surely Coors Field will be the perfect setting for our struggling pitching staff to turn it around, right?! Ha. Anyway, let's see which team is going to give up the most runs.

Eflin had two very good starts and then decided to shit the bed against the fucking Marlins. So to be quite honest I do not know what the hell to expect out of him tonight. Could be good, could be very, very bad, humidor be damned. Kyle Freeland was great for the Rockies last year, but not so much this year. Knowing how baseball works we'll get the ace version of Freeland and I'll hang myself by the 6th inning. Phillies win in a slug fest.

As much as Vinny gives me heartburn, he's been pretty good so far. He is pitching more to contact which, so far, seems to be working for him. But again we are at Coors Field so look for him to have his first "Vinny" type start of the year. Marquez is legit good with high velocity and good control. Phillies light him up anyway and win in a slug fest.

Please. For the love of FUCK let Nola get it together. I said this last time and I'm saying it again because fuck me, but Nola is absolutely getting back on track in this game. I don't know where the fuck I'll be Saturday night, but I know I'll be drunk and praying to the gods I don't believe in. Senzatela? The fuck? I don't know who this is and I'm not looking it up. Nola cruises through 7 innings, bullpen gives up a fuck ton of runs, Phillies win in a slug fest.

Eickhoff, our beautiful baby boy from the Hamels trade, is finally back and healthy. I expect him to fucking 12-6 curve these dumbass Rockies players to death. With some sliders mixed in and approximately seven (7) fastballs. Jon Gray is good. He is arguably their ace. McCutchen absolutely owns him. I think Gray will pitch a good game, except Cutch will go off on him. Then both bullpens come in and Phillies win in a slug fest.

These assholes swept us last year in a 4 game set in embarrassing fashion and effectively ended our season. Time for some fucking payback.


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